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Real
Boys
Rescuing Our Sons from
the Myths of Boyhood |
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Boys today are
in crisis.
On the surface, many boys may appear tough, confident, and cheerful,
but underneath, many of them are sad, lonely, and confused.
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This groundbreaking
book reveals the worlds of boys to show how society's mixed messages
to boys put more of them at risk today than ever before.
Boys' voices and experiences
rise up from these pages as Dr. William Pollack of the Harvard
Medical School draws on almost two decades of work with boys
as well as on a recent study called "Listening to Boys'
Voices" to present new findings about the true nature of
boys and new insights into how to raise them to become happier,
more confident, more successful men.
"I get a little down," says Adam,"but I hide it
very well. I'd say I wear a mask of some sort. Even when kids
call me names or try to taunt me, I'd never show them how much
it was crushing me inside. I'd keep it all in."
Pollack reveals how many boys today are like Adam, whose confident
exterior hides painful feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Other boys are in trouble overtly--depressed, suicidal, doing
less well at school than they could, having trouble with drugs
or with friends. Real Boys shows why, and what to do about
it.
Pollack describes how outdated gender
stereotypes push boys to conform to society's inhibiting Boy
Code, even as boys are pressured to relate to girls in new ways.
Boys conceal themselves behind a mask of independence, which
not only prevents them from truly knowing themselves but makes
it difficult for us to know them. Conventional expectations about
masculinity still encourage people to treat boys like "little
men," and to raise them through a toughening process. Illuminating
the daily lives of boys of all ages, Real Boys lets us
know what boys are really like, revealing new findings about
the expressive nature of boys, how they are different from girls
and how they are similar to them, and what they are thinking
and feeling.
Pollack addresses a wide range of topics--boys and their mothers,
fathers, friends; boys in school, sports, and adolescence; how
boys can develop more self-confidence, and the emotional savvy
they need to deal with issues they may have to confront--such
as depression, love and sexuality, drugs and alcohol, divorce,
violence.
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Original and insightful.
You will see every boy you know
in an entirely new way.
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by William S. Pollack
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Based on new
research into the inner worlds and daily lives of boys today,
Real Boys explores in depth the following:
- The loneliness of "normal"
boys today--what we do to cause it, and what we can do to prevent
it
- Low self-esteem--why more
boys today are suffering from low self-esteem and what we can
do about it
- The power of mothers and fathers--how
to help boys become more confident, loving, and able to lead
happier lives as men
- Adolescence as a "second
chance"--how to use adolescence as a new opportunity to
grow closer to a boy and to help him deal with such topics as
smoking, drinking, and sex
- Getting boys to talk--the
timed-silence syndrome and how to encourage boys to talk and
share their feelings
- Overcoming depression--the
hidden crisis of boyhood depression: how to spot it, and what
to do about it
- Violence, alcohol, drugs,
and much, much more
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